I value directness. I want people to be able to be blunt without feeling they have to package every concern between two compliments. I also want us to be thoughtful about each other. There is room for a clear, uncomfortable observation delivered with respect.
Basically, I want people to be honest with me. That’s easy to say. The more revealing question is how I respond when they are.
Especially when their honesty challenges something I believe I’m doing well.
Throughout my career, as both an entrepreneur and an employee, I’ve experienced a wide range of leadership styles. Those experiences continue to shape how I lead. They also remind me that inviting someone to speak openly and making them comfortable enough to do it are two different responsibilities.
“Tell me what you think” can sound like an invitation. But if I immediately explain why their perspective is wrong, interrupt with my intentions, or start defending my decision, I’ve added an unspoken condition: Be honest, as long as your honesty doesn’t make me uncomfortable.
That’s something I have to pay attention to.
For me, laying the groundwork begins before the difficult conversation. It’s in the everyday moments when I give someone my full attention, ask a follow-up question, or acknowledge that they see something I don’t. People learn what they can bring to me by watching what I do with what they’ve already shared.
Being present matters here.
Sometimes I need to make the invitation more specific: “Where am I making this harder?” or “What am I missing from your perspective?”
Then comes the part that requires discipline: letting them answer.
When something lands sharply, I can ask for an example. I can check my understanding. I can say, “I need a little time to think about that.” I don’t have to settle the entire conversation in the moment.
That applies beyond employees. Colleagues, friends, and people whose work influences my thinking all bring different perspectives. Some introduce an idea I’ve never considered. Others say something familiar in a way that finally makes it click. And sometimes, after some thought, I disagree with what was presented.
I’m learning to stay curious in that disagreement. What experience brought them to that conclusion? What experience brought me to mine? Are we seeing different parts of the same situation?
Honesty doesn’t require agreement. It does require enough trust to explore the difference.
This connects directly to Creating Time for me. When we can speak clearly, we spend less time guessing, revisiting misunderstandings, or working around concerns that never made it into the conversation.
But I have to help create those conditions.
The question I’m sitting with is simple: When I invite someone to be honest, does my response make it easier for them to do it again?
