An honest conversation can stay with me long after it ends.
Sometimes it’s a new idea I want to explore. Sometimes it’s a familiar observation that feels different coming from this particular person. And sometimes it’s the comment I would most like to dismiss.
Those are often the ones that need a little more of my attention.
Making room for people to speak openly is one part of being a present leader. Creating time to consider what they said is another. It’s easy to listen carefully, thank someone for their honesty, and still return to usual habits without changing anything.
I have learned to be more intentional than that.
After a meaningful conversation, I find it useful to pause before deciding what it means. What stayed with me? What did I agree with immediately? Where did I feel the urge to explain myself?
That last question can be uncomfortable. My explanation may be valid. But if I reach for it too quickly, I can miss the opportunity to understand how someone else experienced my leadership.
My intention is only part of the picture.
I might believe I’m giving someone room to take ownership, while they’re waiting for clearer direction. I might think frequent check-ins demonstrate support, while the other person experiences them as a lack of confidence. The same behavior can land very differently depending on the person, the situation, and what they need from me.
That’s why introspection has to go beyond asking whether I’m a good leader, so I ask a more useful question: How am I leading this person, right now, and is it right for this person?
Not everyone needs the same approach. One person may want to talk through an idea before moving forward. Another may need quiet time to consider it. Someone experienced in their role may appreciate broad boundaries and independence, then need much more guidance when taking on something unfamiliar.
I have preferences, too. There are ways of communicating and working that feel natural to me. The effort is in recognizing when I’m treating my preference as though it should work for everyone.
Conversations with colleagues, business influencers, and friends can help me see those habits. A perspective from outside my immediate work can raise a question I wouldn’t have thought to ask myself.
I don’t need to adopt every suggestion. I do need to give it an honest hearing. Even when I disagree with someone’s conclusion, there may be something in their experience that deserves consideration.
Then I need to decide what to do with that understanding.
Sometimes I ask someone how they prefer to receive feedback, other times I need to clarify expectations, interrupt less, or stop offering solutions before I understand the problem. And sometimes I need to return to the conversation and say, “I’ve been thinking about what you shared. Here’s what I’d like to do differently.”
For me, Creating Time includes making space for this reflection. If I fill every available moment with another task, I leave very little room to recognize what needs to change.
I want the people I lead to know that their honesty receives more than a thoughtful response in the moment.
I want them to be able to see its influence in how I lead afterward.
And I admit, this is a work-in-progress.